Local: The Shithawk

Beware the Shithawk!

If you live in Center City (specifically Graduate Hospital) say hello to your new neighbor: The Shithawk. The Shithawk is some kind of large hawk (at least a foot tall, I've seen it) that exists, it seems, to do little but shit on my house. 

Yes, this was done entirely by one single bird. But not just any kind of bird, a Philadelphian Spotted Shithawk. Artist's rendering here.

The Shithawk was first discovered in 16whatever by Benjamin Franklin. B. Fiddy noticed that the bird shat a great deal, primarily due to it's diet of 'steaks, Tasty Kakes, Rita's, vender pretezels, Yuengling Black and Tan and scrapple.

As evidenced in my photos, our shitty friend in the sky is still with us today.

Seriously though, if you see a big bird around Center City, please shoot it.